Temporary

Things to remember:

1. The darkness is temporary
2. This whole awful process is temporary - long, but it will pass
3. Things will get better - they will not be the same as before, but "new" does not equal "bad"

I spent most of yesterday with J (who is herself in the recovery process after ending her 8 1/2 year relationship) who was just wonderful. I was a wreck when she arrived - unable to talk/eat/function, crying every 5 minutes - and by the time she passed me on to R later in the afternoon I was much more together. R was great. She is much like me when I'm myself - brash, to the point, blunt - but she is also really empathic and understanding. We were talking about things, walking around the park, and at one point she grabbed me by the shoulders and almost yelled,

"Q, HE IS NOT RIGHT FOR YOU!!!"

This is what I need to try and believe - hopefully eventually I will.

I have to go around to the apartment later to get some stuff with a friend (couldn't do it by myself, too difficult) and I am dreading it. I'm worried I'll drop to rock bottom again and won't be able to get myself out of it. Perhaps I should think about that when and if the time comes, rather than freaking out in advance.